saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Randomize
