we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
