OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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