Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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