pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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