Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
only if we run a train.
done.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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