Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
