Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
