Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
