and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize