I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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