when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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