The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
