If i come over, it means nothing
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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