shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
