careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
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