Don't make out with my wife yet
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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