I can text with my tongue
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
