It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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