One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
