I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
