Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
