dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
