She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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