Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
