I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
