Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize