do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize