shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
