no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
