you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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