They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
