I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
