I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
