vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
