Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize