what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
