Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
