kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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