I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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