Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
