We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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