"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
