You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
