literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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