my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
