apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
