I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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