I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
