ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
