THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
