Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
