Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
