So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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