we're blogging at a bar
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Less talking, more tequila
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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