But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
