Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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