we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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