This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize