Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
